...and I moved!

In light of major changes in my life, and the fact that Blogger is a part of Google, and Google is increasingly taking over the internet and every shred of our privacy along with it, I decided to switch blogging platforms and create a new blog at the same time. Every time I write a blog post, every time I start a blog, I wonder if I should announce it to my people from Real Life. I blog under the assumption that there are people I know from real life reading, but I never directly address it. Maybe on this next blog, I will.

For those of you (are there any of you?) who have continued to click on my new blog posts, who have continued to check for updates... please consider the new blog an extension of the this one. Except instead of learning to cope with being on the dark-half of my twenties, it starts with me at age 30, a newly minted lawyer and expecting a baby. So, whoo-hoo! Here we go...

Post #401

I passed the bar! I'm going to be an attorney, it turns out! An immigration attorney, I might add. :)t

new haircut new job new chapter

yeap. i finished the bar, for the first time ever, and hopefully the last. and a week from now, i'll be starting my new job as a law clerk for a small immigration group that i shall call The Gang henceforth, for lack of a better descriptor and for anonymity's sake. if i pass the bar, i am anticipating being a young associate attorney, but that's for chillier days of late fall. for now, i plan to walk to the office and do my time as a good little legal researcher and client handler and so on and so forth. i consider myself extremely, incredibly, horrendously lucky to have found a job, all thing considered. and to be able to work in my field, in the kind of small office environment i was hoping for, and to be able to maintain my car-free lifestyle? all blessings that i thank God for. because i sure didn't do anything to deserve them. but i'll do my best to use my blessings for good things, and to remain grateful.

these are exciting times, in so many ways, on the home-front. because of bar stress and all that, i've not updated on the housing / apartment hunt situation. but we are hoping to have a sweet new place in the same neighborhood sometime within the next two months. we managed to negotiate a fair deal with our landlords of the past 3 years, in which they agreed to let us move out whenever we want, as long as we take the responsibility of finding a new tenant that they approve of. so we're not bound for another year at this point, and they don't have to worry about us ditching them in the dead of winter with no prospects for a new tenant. with the new job, the new paycheck, the new apartment (hopefully. soon), the new lease on life, and the new haircut for the first time in OVER A YEAR, i'm feeling nervous and excited at once. things are heating up around here, i'm grabbing my saddle and holding on for the ride.

Graduation year! And my first hearing.

Had my first Master Calendar Hearing today! What an immigration law nerd I am. As I sat in the IJ's courtroom watching the delicate Kuboki dance of discretion between the judge, the government attorney and the client's attorney as the client's attorney argued for a motion to suppress (evidence of an unlawful arrest), I was in AWE. I'm surprised I didn't break out in a grin from ear to ear, or jump up and down and shout, "Ooh! Ooh! What happened? What evidence does the government have to support removability? Why was he arrested???? How long was he in jail on a detainer????????? Huh? HUH?!" Maybe I did do those things and just don't remember.

What I do remember, very clearly, is thinking to myself, "I wish I was doing this for a living already. I want to spend all day here." Oh, fresh meat. I'm such a newbie. I wonder how long it'll take me to burn out on this stuff. But whatever, for the moment, I'm happy to have found something I'm so passionate about and to feel so...at home in what I'm doing.

Heh. That's kind of funny, too because I am at home, when I should be at school. You know. For class? Advanced Contracts? That whole, getting a JD thing? Wow, it's fun being in my last year.

Oh, and one other thing. I'm doing 12 month-long resolutions this year instead of one year-long resolution. Last month I resolved to eat breakfast every day. It seriously changed my life. I can't believe I was going without breakfast for so long! The only thing is that I've started to get sick of eggs, and sometimes french toast doesn't cut it. I'm looking for other suggestions in the breakfast department. February is exercise month. I have resolved to exercise for half an hour (or run/walk one mile) every day. This is going to be a serious challenge, to the point that I wonder if I should even mention it on here. But there I go. Exercise month! Resolution year! Graduation year! Sweet.

The JE Guide to Life gets rich!

And sometimes that music drifts through my car
On a spring night when anything is possible
And I close my eyes and I nod my head
And I wonder how you been and I count to a hundred and ten
Because you’ll always be my hero, even if I never see you again
- The Dismemberment Plan, "Back and Forth"

On Thursday, the Dismemberment Plan is playing in the Big City. One of my favorite bands from my late teens and early twenties, the Plan was awesome, danceable indie rock of the kind that cannot be described, merely listened to. Or maybe I just am not the one to describe. But listen, seriously, I promise you'll like it.

Anyway, they are playing here on Thursday, after having played a couple of big reunion shows in their (and my) hometown of DC. Although I eschew reunion shows as a hard and firm rule (including, and especially, my most teen-angsty favorite band of all time, the Smashing Pumpkins) this is The One True Exception. Even six years ago, when they apparently played a 2005 reunion show as a benefit in DC, I didn't have the heart to come out and dance on the Dismemberment Plan stage again. But now is a different time. I am a different me.

I am, of course, the person I am today because of everything that I was in the time leading up to this moment. I once heard that people change their fundamental personalities every 10 years. Not that I believe it, but I see the general point. We evolve and grow as people, and it should be that way. But do we owe anything to our former selves? Do I owe it to my 20-year old self to go out to a concert on a Thursday night and dance along to music that moved me so fervently 10 years ago, but that I rarely listen to anymore? (Although when I do, I am still transported to that happy place at the side of the main stage at the Black Cat wearing a Salvation Army t-shirt and bright pink hat.)

Am I driven to see the Dismemberment Plan out of some allegiance or some desperate reach for my younger self, or is this something that almost-30 year old me wants to do for herself? The reason I don't usually go to reunion concerts is because I'm usually interested in letting bygones stay that way. In this case, I think I'm doing this for the me of Now. And I don't think I'm the only one.

In reading Facebook posts and Tweets and all sorts of other social media updates I've been watching my friends that are still in the DC area going through their own Dismemberment Plan revivals. Hell, just reading band interviews it's been pretty clear that the band is deliberately reliving its past from a very different place. Everyone in the band has "real jobs" and nobody is trying (as of yet... supposedly) to turn this into a new career. Just like all my college friends and I have moved on in our lives from that time when we would drive up on school nights, park somewhere on 14th St. and wolf down seitan burgers at Food For Thought before the first band came on stage, getting back to the dorms at somewhere past 2 am to stumble into bedrooms darkened by our already sleeping roommates.

It's a different place in life for all of us. Some of my friends are parents. Some of them are highly specialized and extremely well-paid careerists. Some are both. Some live in communal houses in the city, work day jobs in social services and play in bands at night. Some teach high schoolers, college kids. Some are working behind bars or counters. Some have supported their parents through the end of life. Who knows where we'll be in another ten years. We're just getting through our twenties.

So I guess this D Plan show is kind of a reunion of sorts. Even though I'm not getting to go with all the same people I used to dance with, and even though my self-consciousness will probably be uncomfortably palpable, I am looking forward to reconnecting with a feeling that isn't (yet) anchored in age. The joy of possibility. I was about 19 or 20 when I went to see a Plan show with my friend K, a decidedly anti-scenester (that's what we used to call hipsters) non-indie-rock loving friend who simply agreed to accompany me, probably out of boredom. At the end of the night, even he was smiling at the unselfconsciousness of the dancing, the fun and excitement that radiated from the band, the music and the audience. If this show fails to replicate that moment, I won't be surprised. But that's okay, because when I turn on my iPod and listen to The City, I feel thrilled for who I was at the beginning of my twenties, and excited for what my thirties are going to be. In a way, maybe, it's letting go of the past and acknowledging that even this moment is the brink of a new era. Who knows how I'll look back on it. Right now, I'm just feeling ready to embrace it.

We exhaust ourselves trying to get there.
- The Dismemberment Plan, "Back and Forth"

Just kicked in

The excitement! Oh, the excitement!

In less than 24 hours, we will be outta here. I love the Big City and all, but it's time to bust out and have some winter fun. We're going down to the Eastern Shore for a T Family Christmas in a rental house on the bay (I think?) in Maryland. It'll be T's family - parents, aunts, uncles and cousins - no kids yet. So lots of drinking, eating and general hanging out, spanning time.

After a few days with the T Fam, we move on to my parents' house for one night of FAST catching up with my parents, brother and sister, 3 nieces (in town on the one holiday that I'm not there!) and cousin, aunt, etc. It'll be a lot of socializing in a little time, though, because on Monday morning, we fly...to Colombia!

Two weeks in Colombia. As usual, I tentatively think I might have some kind of clue what to expect, while simultaneously feeling sure that I have no idea whatsoever what to expect. I do know that despite every logical part of my brain being convinced otherwise, we will be in HOT weather. So I am forcing myself to pack shorts, tank tops, flip flops even. And a swim suit, if I can find it.

In Colombia, we'll see lots of relatives I've long wanted to introduce to T. And I'll get to show him my family's home in Purificacion where my dad and grandmother were born, and where my great aunts and uncle still live. And for the first time ever, we'll get to do some exploring outside the realms of family. I just can't wait.

We'll fly back on January 9th, the Sunday before my last semester of law school (si Dios quiere) and then resume normal life again, which by then, I suspect, we'll be more than happy to do.

Hooray! Merry Christmas! Happy new year, ya'll!

NaBloPoMo (my brother's edition)

Well, I guess I'll catch up at some point in here...

My bro got here yesterday! When I got out of class at the ungodly hour of 9 p.m. and made my way back to the apartment, there he was, chillin with T and our friend A. They were squeezed into our little living room, gathered around the TV, which was playing a video loop of a fireplace. How cozy.

JC isn't sure if he's going to be staying on the East Coast or not, but I sure hope he does. To that end, I have managed to get him a little paid gig for next week! And by "get" it, I mean that I happened to come across an email last night from the law school, which was looking for people to videotape some training going on all next week. Since JC studied...videotaping (ha)... he's already got the job!

The best part of having him here is that I have another fun partner in crime to do things around the city with. He's generally up for whatever, whether it's kicking my butt in Bananagrams, going to karaoke or taking an impromptu trip to a casino. Hopefully, all three of these things will happen while he's here. He's only been to visit us in the Big City once before, and that was terrible and terribly brief timing. This time, he'll be here for about a week. Plenty of time to get into fun.

Stick to the eye

I walked the dog to the park today, as per usual. At the end of a long day (shepardizing cases for an emergency motion to stay a deportation & taking the heartbreaking affidavit of a Sudanese refugee), all I wanted to do was get home and lose myself in a sudoku puzzle. So when I raised a stick in the air for E to jump up and grab, of course he jumped too soon and knocked the end of the stick directly into my eyeball. And of course, as I'm panicking and envisioning my eyeball being dislodged from my socket, I go running over to three complete strangers on a park bench to ask if my eye is still there. In my mind, the whole thing was nothing short of a medical emergency. I couldn't understand why they were all just sitting there, and why the one woman kept talking to my dog about how, "sorry, mom said you couldn't have any treats," like in the midst of being blinded for life I'm going to change my mind and allow her to give my dog a greenie. The man looked in my eye and said it looked fine. I wanted them to walk me home. I couldn't open my eye! Instead, I took E and stumbled across the street to Best Woman's apartment. Thankfully, she was home. She let me in, sympathized with my discomfort, did not make me feel like an idiot for being freaked out, gave me eye gel and walked me and the dog back to my apartment. What a good neighbor.

In other news, my best friend just gave birth to a healthy baby boy. El bendito was born at 11:47 p.m. on Sunday, June 27th, 2010. I am over the moon and I haven't even met him yet. Mother and baby are doing great!

El mundial is upon us, yo.

Once again, I am left to my own devices for a weekend. T has gone down to Richmond to take care of some business and celebrate our dear friend A's birthday. Even though that makes for three out of the last four weekends out of town, I would've liked to have gone with him to hang out and celebrate summer, VA-style, but it wasn't in the cards. Instead, I will be helping to do a final drive for TPS registration at a Haitian church somewhere here in Big City, as part of my new summer job.

The summer job. Yes. So, this summer I am working for an immigration legal services organization, and it is a *big* change from my last job both in terms of the work place and the area of law. Where I was once working in the wishy-washy, creative argument-requiring area of employment law, I am now in the form-filling, by-the-book world of immigration law. Except that makes it sound boring. To the contrary, this is gripping stuff. As the head of the organization said today, immigation is all about three questions:

1. Who gets to come here?
2. Who gets to stay here?
3. Who has to leave?

And instead of practicing my McDonnell-Douglas burden of proof gymnastics, I'm learning the perils of trying to get or stay legal in a post-IIRIRA world. In other words, I'm working out my knees, learning to beg the government for relief for my poor wittle cwients (because in order to get any relief, you gotta talk about how Terrible and Heart-Wrenching your client's life is, compared to everyone else's). Ok, I've only been on the job a few days, but this is the sense I'm getting. Did I mention I'm loving it? Cause I am. I feel at home, like I'm finally doing the work I came to law school for. I love a good ol' memo on the elements of a claim, discerning principles from case law and applying new fact patterns to common law rules as much as the next student. Really, probably more. But at the end of the day, I want to be in the thick of the fray of immigrants trying to save their azzez from deportation, trying to bring their families over, trying to parlay their work with the men in blue into a green card. Yo quiero ser una abogada del pueblo, yo.

And none of this is what I sat down to write about, but it's what's coming out. Probably because to sit and think too long about the World Cup, and where I was four years ago (or the four years before that) is a little too heavy for me on a Friday night when I've already put on my pajama pants and walked the dog in flip-flops and fed my husband macaroni and cheese with pretzel goldfish and oreos for a send-off dinner. Yes, it's true that four years ago I was living the second half of my time in Durham, had the door to my little house perpetually open so that the neighbors and friends could wander over at their leisure to watch the games on my t.v. which had the best reception on the block. It's true that I was surrounded by Mexicans who were pumped about the Mundial, and it's true that my community felt like a Community, and it's true that I miss that sometimes (i.e. now). But it's also true that four years ago, I was missing waking up super early and driving in the fog of twilight over to my friend M's house to watch the games at 3 in the morning in our pajamas, and I was nostalgic for those days then. In short, the World Cup is a chance to Make Memories to the umpteenth degree. It comes around once every four years, and like that short story where the girl gets locked in the closed when everyone else goes out to see the rain for the first time in their lives, it's not something you wanna miss out on, cause this is Real.

Oh, but I said I wasn't gonna go there, didn't I? This is what's happened when I'm left alone in a house by myself, pumped up and ready for a weekend of soccer, soft clothes and snacks on a sofa.

Hope is believing a new day will come.

Two things I would like to see before the end of the day:
1) Maryland over Michagan St. because that's the last (and most attenuated) personal connection I have to team left in the tournament.
2) 216 (or more) votes for health care reform.

My thoughts today, however, are also with my friends from North Carolina, who are on the National Mall today reminding our President of his promise to address comprehensive immigration reform. May health care pass, and may my friends have a path to citizenship.

Hooray! Right?

I got an internship offer! Yay!

So I suddenly went from zero prospects on the horizon to three job interviews in three business days. I had the first one today, a phone interview that ended with an invitation to be a part of the organization's summer internship program. I have another interview on Monday, and then a third (phone) interview on Tuesday. Then it's off to Guatemala!

I keep wondering though, as I hear more and more about the terrible state of the economy and its dismal effect on job prospects, whether I am deluding myself. It's easy to get a summer job when you are looking at non-profit orgs that have no intention of paying you a dime for your time. It's easy to not get paid a salary when you have some work study funds to live off of.

But what happens next? After this second summer as a law student, I'll be moving up to the big leagues. I won't have work study to live off of, and the organizations I'm trying to work for still won't be willing to pay me a dime. So what do I do then? Should I be trying to get paying internships now, so I have a better chance of getting a job after I'm out? But wouldn't that just be succumbing to the trap of "I came to law school to change the world, but now I just want to get paid"? (I'm not saying that in order to pass judgment on anyone, least of all a law student looking for a paying job! This is just what everyone said would happen to me and happens to many public interest-minded law students.)

I guess I'll have to go the fellowship route, and hope I'll snag some pay for a project. That might not be such a ridiculous plan, except for my track record of chasing after the low-lying fruit. I'm pretty sure there's no low-lying fruit when it comes to highly-coveted post-grad fellowships. If anyone else has gone the all-public interest route and has insights on this, I would love to pick your brain for you to tell me everything is going to be alright. :)

Bitten by the travel bug (again)

Exciting news on the homefront: It looks like we're going to be going to Guatemala over my spring break!

T & I have a friend who's been in the Peace Corps down in Guate for the last couple of years. It seems like just yesterday we were bidding him farewell, and only a few hours ago that I was reading his blog as he struggled to come to terms with the strange new place into which he had landed. Instead, A is now the old hand and I am excited to have a chance to see where he's been living and what he's been doing while we've been moving to Big City adjusting to law school getting married working 9 to 5 jobs drinking way too much and twiddling our thumbs.

We may only get to be down there for five days, depending on T's vacation and work schedule. But even 5 days will be more than none, and I am so thrilled to think of travelling in Latin America with T, revisiting some of the places I passed through ever so briefly six (!) years ago, seeing things from the perspective of someone who has lived there long enough to speak the indigenous language... I love travelling!

It's going to cost a penny, but I think it'll be worth it. The hard part will be coming home.

whah whah whah WHAH whah WHAH

Everything since about 2:35 has sounded exactly like the grown-up voice from Charlie Brown. I can't understand anything anyone is saying. Because at 2:35 p.m. my best friend called to tell me the sex of her baby.

Since then, I've been over the moon thinking about the new little boy in my life, who will be a part of my life (and hers, duh) for EVER! I don't have kids yet, but I can't wait for them to meet! haha.

So. This could be a problem, considering I have to do make a motion to compel production of ESI in about half an hour. Somebody pinch me!

After the fact pattern

Post-finals life has been chugging along quite nicely, but it's not without its adjustments. On the relationship front, it seems that as soon as the time is called on my last exam, I awaken from my study-induced stupor to notice all the shortcomings in our day-to-day life that T has no doubt been trying to call my attention to since around mid-October.

"We don't spend any quality time together," I whine. "Why do you come to bed so late?"

T patiently explains to me that he is not used to me actually wanting him around, especially in the evenings, when I am notoriously at my most cranky. When we leave to meet friends at a bar, and he suggest that he bring my set of keys, I glare at him. "Why? Do you think I'm going to come back early, without you?"

Without blinking he responds, "Yes. I guess so."

Like a petulant kid, I pout, "You'd better get used to me being around all night. I'm not going to leave early so you can hang out without me anymore."

"I can get used to that. I'd like that," he demures. "I just forgot for a second."

I like to pretend it's rough, realizing that the world has been revolving without me for the last two months, but the fact is that I'm in utter delight most of the time. Random squealing may be prompted by any of the following: getting under a blanket on the couch, taking down a box of instant cocoa, pulling the wrapping paper out of the closet, watching T change into pajamas, putting a leash on the dog, etc. As T says, I'm easy to please.

There are less than pleasant things going on right now. I'm fearful, truth be told, because of some troubling test results that my mom received a couple of weeks ago. The full implication of the results won't be known until after the holidays, though, so there's not much I can do. When I first found out, I spent a day shivering and fighting worry-induced nausea, staring off into space. This was while I still had to exams left to take. I prayed about it, and tried to let it go. After about a day, I found myself able to resume enjoying life. I'm still a little scared, but I'm taking it as my cue to practice not being in control, and to just live.

There are also super exciting things. My trial advocacy professor put me in touch with someone at our local public defender office who does work with immigrants in the criminal justice system. As anyone who has ever known a non-citizen living in the States knows, the legal system in this country has a completely separate set of consequences for people without citizenship. I am excited and encouraged to have made a connection with someone working on the front lines of this crossroad, and have even been invited to shadow the person at an upcoming hearing! Very good news, indeed. These days when I see the fruits of my decision to go to law school take shape, I am always so grateful for the choices that brought me here. Of course, it would have been impossible without T's unwavering support, which I realize more and more each day. But now I'm starting to sound like an Oscar acceptance speech.

Speaking of prizes, there is one other exciting development in my life. Last night, T, Best Man, Best Woman, another friend and I played Quizzo and actually WON! After many, many failed attempts, and an overflowing collection of consolation prizes (i.e. crappy books like "Dummies Guide to i-Pods" and a history of the Lilith Fair), we managed to snag a round of free drinks and a bunch of knock-off Yuengling swag. Supposedly, our picture is posted on the mirror behind the bar for the next week. Boo yes!

And that's life, post-finals.

SNOW!!!!!!!!!

It's Christmas-y!!!

Just read Carolyn Hax's Annual Holiday Hootennany of Horrors after swinging by the jeweler's to pick up my ring (getting fixed before the stone fell out), who said that he was hosting his annual holiday party tonight. Snow is falling all over the place, and a glance to my left reveals a window full of fat snowflakes. I have dark chocolate Swiss Miss cocoa and four finals to study for (i.e. an excuse to never leave the house). It's holiday time!!!!!!!

Now where are those stockings and that rat's nest of Christmas lights?

Toiletbowl 200

Went to quizzo last night with T and some friends. On our way back, we walked down an alley where we discovered a toilet seat on the curb awaiting the trash pickup. T & I instantly looked at each other, gasped and then burst out laughing. I grabbed the seat and lugged it back to our apartment.

Why?

Because earlier in the day we had talked about how we would need a toilet seat to perfect the awesome Halloween costumes we were going to make. (Each of us silently thinking, "Where the hell are we going to find a toilet seat?") On the early morning walk to work, I was joyful breathing in the fall air as T grumbled about the cold. Since the prospect of Halloween being around the corner did not fill him with the same child-like excitement brewing within me, I told him that I was making it my goal to reintroduce him to the simple joys of Halloween of our youth. And then we saw our Isaiah Zagar on his way to work, and I came up with the best costume idea ever. Amazingly, T agreed.

Now, I have come up with great Halloween costume ideas before. There was the year I decided to go as the hunchback of Notre Dame in 7th grade, but realized that stuffing a pillow up my shirt just made me look silly for the 30 seconds before it fell out the back. Then there was the year I was set on going as the female reproductive system. Our kitten died the day before, so instead of scrambling to figure out how I would make it all work, I went to Walmart with T and bought a shovel to bury our first pet. But this year, oh this year. The year of promise.

Today was an interesting day, by the way. The class gunner called me the class gunner. Needless to say, I was more than a little perturbed. It didn't help that our "conversation" took place in a crowded elevator on our way to class, mere moments before I was slated to give my first closing argument. At the dinner table tonight, I told T how I was "on fire" during class. "So you had your Kevin Arnold moment?" he asked. "If it were an episode of the Wonder Years, there would be black and white footage of enormous crowds cheering," I assured him. In other words, I was not called a cop for the second week in a row. Score one for me!

And if this post wasn't random enough, this is my 200th post!

Deep sigh of relief

I'm back! I'm married! I'm totally exhausted!

And I'm still embarrassed about throwing a hissy-fit (at least that's how I remember it) during the first two hours of the reception, when all 145 guests were locked out of our reception site, and then the sound didn't work for the next 2 hours (i.e. when all the "traditional" stuff was supposed to happen).

That aside, it was by all accounts a truly beautiful wedding. I am so blessed to have so many family, friends and amazing people in my life who busted their butts to bring it all together. I keep hearing the food was among the best wedding food ever, but I hardly had a chance to eat, and I was mostly mad at our caterers for keeping people out and then making us leave early, so I am not ready to admit they maybe did a good job yet. One thing is for sure, though. My grandma was definitely there in spirit, because her cakes were a hit! My bad-ass aunt spent 5 sleepless, grueling days before the wedding baking upward of 15 cakes using our old family recipe; and although we had more leftover cake than we knew what to do with, people were definitely walking out of their with enormous boxes of leftovers at the end of the night.

After a restful honeymoon, doubling as the first true Vacation that T & I have ever taken together alone, I am ready to gradually rejoin the world of the normals. I'm even looking forward to law school! But before I delve back into that masochistic mess, I have to tie up like a million loose ends. First on the list is getting the dog back from my parents. Wow, do I miss him!

Wedding on the bwah

I am so excited! That is all.

Spanning time

So the internship is going pretty well. Yesterday, my supervising attorney said they'd like for me to stay on in the fall if I'm interested. Today, she and the paralegal were planning for next year's tax clinic when I was leaving. I popped my head into SA's office to say goodbye, and asked if they wanted me in on the planning call tomorrow. "Well, we were thinking that if you're here in the Spring you could help us at the clinic again next year, so... yes." Cool! Not the tax clinic thing, which doesn't thrill me, but the whole sticking around and working for them thing sounds pretty good. Not only do I like working for a legal aid organization, and not only do I like working with farmworkers, but I especially like the idea of having a "workplace". To keep me grounded when school starts up again, you know? To have something other than law school going on in my life, even if it is law-related!

In other news, T's grandma's service is next Friday (a.k.a. my 28th birthday), so our plans to go camping will have to be postponed. On the other hand, it means that my bridal shower will go on this weekend. It is just SO WEIRD to have such a joyous occasion marked by so much family tragedy. I mean, it's surreal. This was supposed to be the summer of wedding planning and romance (or, more realistically, wedding-related stress). Instead, it's been a summer of health issues and loss, with wedding planning somehow getting squeezed in and coloring the background of everything else. And that's okay. It will be a memorable summer, and I think that all the things that have happened are only serving to remind me and T of all the love we have in our lives, and all the things we should not take for granted. Even more than it did a couple of months ago, the thought of having all my friends and family gathered together in celebration really lifts my heart these days. Even if my Tio and T's grandma can't be there, their spirits will certainly be with us on that day.

consolation prize

well, i got my ticket. finally. for a while it was starting to look like i might not even get it. an angel at delta airlines basically told me how to fuck with the system and get around their stupid $150 72-hour booking fee. the work around (which involved booking farther in advance and then switching my date) only saved me $50, but it took the fare down to just below the threshold of what i could afford in order to fly down to see my uncle this weekend. so, between my amazing cousin who gave me all those frequent flier miles and the woman on the reservation phone line who helped bring the cost within my reach, i am miraculously going to be able to fly to south america and back in one weekend. (assuming i have no problem at the passport office tomorrow.)

usually when i make this trip, i'm at my happiest. i love going down there to see my family. it happens so rarely and a piece of my heart is always there.

today, i just want to get shit-faced drunk. bring on the aguardiente.