Skip the meat.

If you find yourself walking along a busy, but unfamiliar, stretch of highway, looking for something to eat in a hurry, I have a tip for you. It's always prefereable to eat at a roadside restaurant of the Tastee Freez variety, with no indoor seating and a giant homemade sign advertising its world-famous [insert food/drink here]. That much should go without saying. However, if the roadside americana decor includes a proud proclamation that "We use government inspected meats ONLY!" then for the love of God...skip the burger! (Stock up on the root beer though. That s#$t is good!)



This PSA brought to you by JE, the hungriest person stuck in Jersey waiting for the train to Atlantic City on a Saturday afternoon.

Oh, Jon Arbuckle

Garfield Minus Garfield

Today, I finally refilled my Prozac prescription. While I was at it, I also bought myself a little mini-notebook and a 20-pack of blue ballpoint pens. I slept through my first class today and had no excuse for it, except that I couldn't drag my ass off the couch. I haven't had that bad of a mental health day in a long time. Funny, then, that filling my prescription is like an automatic "feel good" ticket. Without even popping the pill, I already feel better. It's the whole empowerment thing, I think. Knowing I'm taking care of myself.

I don't usually feel this bad after going off of my medication. I think it's a combination of the gap in medication, PMS, the encroaching finals season, law school burnout, my parents' health problems and panic over my upcoming 29th birthday. Anyway, one foot in front of the other.

(I am trying to ignore the little voice in my head that says I shouldn't bother to blog, because I am just coming across as whiny.)

In my dreams...

This would have been one of those imaginary posts that never made it to the blog, except I just read this post from Cee at Starting to Melt, and took it as a Sign.

So this morning, I awoke from my slumber as T was getting dressed for work just in time tell him all about my dream:

"I dreamt that I was sleeping in a bed with Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (aside: for some reason, I think he is the cutest guy on the show)."

T's ears perk up.

"Yeah, we were in a bed with four people, and I was on the end, and he was laying next to me, and I was very sleepy. The last thing I remembered saying to him before I fell asleep was 'So you use a Mac, right?'

Then, later, Charlie was freaking out about how he had to brush his teeth, because he was sure we had been making out, and he knew I had a husband. He was babbling about this to someone else (who had apparently been laying in the bed with us) when I woke up and was like, 'Uh, Charlie, that NEVER happened. I've been asleep.'"

T continued buttoning up his shirt, nonplussed, through this fascinating account.

"The point IS," I cleared my throat. "Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia obviously had a thing for me in the dream."

At that, T laughed.

"What?!" I demanded to know.

"Do you remember that time you had the dream Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer from 24 had a thing for you?"

OMG, I totally forgot!

I present to you the top 3 recent trends in my dreams (not nearly as sexy as the one above):
1. Being trapped in a free-falling elevator.
2. Struggling obsessively to find an outfit to wear from my closet.
3. Having to fight off sometimes-hot television stars who are way into me.
Guess which one is my favorite?

Adult humor

T and his friends used to joke about "adult humor" -- the kind of automatic wisecrack that spills out of people's mouths at the office (especially Mondays and Fridays) or in line at the grocery store. These are the kinds of jokes that broadcast one's passage from hip youth to embarrassingly unfunny adult. At least, that's how I always imagined T & co. interpreted them. It was always good for a laugh to point out when one of us indulged in adult humor, either on accident (in the course of being polite to strangers) or by design (oh, irony).

It occurred to me this morning that my joke to a cashier at 10,000 Villages yesterday was adult humor to beat all previous attempts... and I wasn't even trying! I present to you the following exchange, which took place as a sales clerk spotted me looking around the crowded store for fireplace pokers and trying to locate T:

Saleswoman: "Can I help you find anything?"
Me: "Do you sell fire pokers?"
Saleswoman: "No, I'm sorry, we don't."
Me: "Well, in that case, have you seen my husband?"
!!!!cha-CHING!!!
Saleswoman: "They tend to get lost around here."

I have to admit, I am smiling to myself a little at the cleverness of it right now. I guess the appeal of adult humor is that it's just so *easy*. Maybe that's why T makes jokes about being in trouble with the wife. Even though they drive me crazy and I don't think they're funny, I imagine they are irresistible to him.

Ahhhhhhhhh

Shaving your legs.
Saying "I'm sorry."
Not falling down stairs.

What do these 3 things have in common?

Here's a hint.

Why getting to 2L year is like having a second kid

i have to preface what i'm about to do with a disclaimer admission or three. first, YES, i do read pregnancy blogs. (i also read parenting blogs, quiverfull blogs, grandma blogs, law student blogs and blogs about how to dress yourself. and my IRL friends' blogs. and people i hardly knew in college's's blogs.) second, YES, i am supposed to be reading about trust & estates, employment law and political and civil rights right now. third, NO, i am not wearing pants.

which is all pretty much typical for 9:30 on a weeknight, and was all true about 5 minutes ago when i came across a cute little post on A Little Pregnant, where i washed up after one of my nightly blog-surfing expeditions. half of my mind was blissfully tuned out of MY reality and into some other sucker's life. the other half was doubtlessly fixated on all the work i should be (but am not) doing. but as i continued to read, i realized that this crazy woman, describing her experience with a second kid, was starting to sound a LOT like me, describing my experience with a second year of law school to anyone who will listen.

thus, i present to you, "Why Getting to 2L Year is Like Having a Second Kid":

It is easier this time around, everything about babyhood law school, exactly like everyone told me it would be. That's true for a lot of reasons, most of them obvious, all based on prior experience: you know the tough parts end; you know that one day you'll have more time to yourself, more sleep, more sex; you know how to take care of a baby not fail your classes; you know that even if the baby you runs a high fever, develops a full-body rash, and suddenly sprouts a third eye just so he you can cry more, it's probably just a virus time to start outlining. That experience is much more persuasive than anyone else's assurances, so while the drudgery — I mean the endlessly repetitive daily blessings, hallelujah, lo, how I love skimming vomit from the bathtub! not having to go to work! Blueberries Greenbacks, aweigh! — of keeping a baby the dream of becoming a lawyer alive is the same, my feelings about it are altogether different this time. (This time I think, Could be worse. Could be hot dog med school.)

scromph

i notice a lot of "om nom nom" on the internet these days. i like it. it reminds me of cookie monster. (that's supposed to happen, right?) but i tend to get annoyed when i realize a phrase is cool. like in high school when all of a sudden all my buddies indulged in a 5 second prelude to every sentence: "duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!" better known on the internet as, "d00d!" then later T got into calling everyone a "dump" and it was quickly picked up by his roommates (as most of his phrases are). it became the word of choice for making fun of friends around his house. flashforward some years and bro-in-law introduced us to the "epic fail" thanks to some friend's proclivity for hanging out on nerd-core message boards. (i am certain i just used the phrase "nerd-core" improperly just now.) next thing you know, everything is a FAIL. almost literally. i was once at a party a couple years ago in Richmond when i noticed this picture taped to my friend's refrigerator. it was an enormous (real!) walrus with a bucket looking ecstatic, with the caption, "I HAS A BUCKET!" and then another picture of a man taking the bucket and the walrus looking very upset and the caption, "NOOOOOOO!! THEY BE STEALIN MY BUCKET!" and i laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and seriously would not stop laughing the whole way home. the next day, i realized i was the last person on earth to have learned about lolcats.

how did i start talking about all this?

oh yeah. because i wanted to start a real blog post by mentioning the delicious sauted bananas i made for dessert tonight. my new thing is frying fruit. yum yum. and that's where this came from. because in my head, i literally heard a delicious noise and remembered there's a meme for that now: "om nom nom." except i don't want to say om nom nom. i want to say SCROMPH! because that's exactly it sounds like in my head. not the same ring to it, i know.

in other news, i did exercise today for 30 minutes. i think i read trust and estates for about the same amount of time. ah, early semester studying. it seems so easy and relaxed right now...*

*note: i am not on law review or any of the other major extracurriculars!

"101" Things To Do Before I Die

...okay, more like 61. And I wrote this circa May 2000, when I was a freshman in college, not in high school. While I am entering these without any added commentary, rest assured I am not keeping a straight face while typing! "X"s by the ones I've done!

1. Read the Bible (the WHOLE thing!)
2. Go to the Serenghetti
3. Get married
4. Have kids
5. Meet Billy Corgan
XX Travel cross country w/friends
7. Publish a book
8. Be on the Price is Right
9. Sell a photograph (or 20)
10. Get my doctorate
11. Bike across the county
12. Write a song to be played by a band
XXX Learn how to dance
14. Take pictures for a newspaper / Life-Time mag.
XXX Go on a shopping spree (guilt-free?)
16. Learn recipe to chicken & rice (and perfect it)
17. Live on the ocean / by the sea
18. Live in Europe (Spain...? Nerja...?)
19. Get physically fit - able to run a mile, do pull ups!
XXX Visit relatives in Colombia
21. Own a boat!!!
22. Fly a plane
XXX Learn a foreign language (and be FLUENT)
24. Invest $ in the stock market!
XXX Get high
26. Go to Mardi Gras
27. Bungee-jump!
28. Go hiking in the Eastern Hemisphere
29. Go to Australia
30. Go scubadiving
31. Learn how to surf
32. Go camping in the wild (not a campground)
33. Do Peace Corps
34. Create a social services program
XXX Skinny dip co-ed!
XXX Get drunk and XXXXXXX [okay one censorship :) ]
37. Travel w/my dad
38. Get to know [my older brother] and his family
XXX Karaoke at a K. bar
40. Adopt a child
41. Foster care
XXX Kiss a girl
43. Be happy at 70
44. Volunteer at an AIDS clinic
XXX Befriend a person completely unlike me that I wouldn't normally be friends with
XXX Try being a vegetarian
47. Swtich to an organic diet
48. Run for political office
49. Beat Mario in under 5 min.
XXX Confront my parents about the past
51. Learn the truth
52. Have & maintain faith
XXX Be a regular (at a diner/coffee shop, e.g.)
XXX Get to know my Goddaughter
XXX Get in touch and attempt to rekindle friendships with friends from youth.
XXX Stay friends with F for life
57. Get a black belt in Tae Kwon Do
58. Learn to play the drums
59. Work at McDonalds
XXX Drink moonshine
XXX Teach photography to underprivileged kids

What I am going to do with my life

Well, I've been trying to come up with ideas of things I want to do before turning 30 and finding the task to be harder than I expected. Isn't that weird? I expected it to be pretty easy, but I find myself challenging every idea that pops into my head.

Example #1:
Young JE - "I like to travel. What about doing a cross country road trip?"
Grownup JE - "Yeah, but are you really going to have time to go on a road trip this summer or next summer? You have law school and summer internships. Plus, where is the money going to come from? And that's to say nothing of the cost of gas..."
Young JE - "I guess you're right. Besides, there's plenty of time in my life to go on road trips. I don't really want to go on a road trip right now."

Example #2:
Grownup JE - "How about buying a house. That's something you want to do pretty soon, right?"
Young JE - "I think so. But c'mon. Isn't that going to happen anyway? I mean, do I really need a list to encourage me to buy a house? This is supposed to be about me and what I like to do. You know, for fun."
Grownup JE - "Fine. But good luck coming up with those ideas."

Am I a nutjob or what? Anyway, I AM coming up with some good ideas but I'm giving myself until my actual birthday to complete the list. I have to admit, the grownup side of me is having second thoughts, and I'm wondering if I'm pressuring myself to do something I don't really want to do anymore. But the young side of me is egging me on, daring me to just do it.

So, for personal inspiration, shits and giggles, I'm digging out my high school list of 100 things I want(ed) to do before I die. I'm putting that as a separate post.

sallying forth

i'm starting to worry. for about a week now the inside of my head has looked something like this:



seriously. this is not a "law school reading is dry" problem either. i was up until 1 in the morning yesterday because i had it in my head to write out the previous blog post. i downloaded oregon trail to my cell phone yesterday. i completed an entire crossword puzzle, a sudoku and all but the final answer of that stupid jumble puzzle during con law. and, as previously noted, i am way too concerned about sally forth:



i wonder whether this is medicine-induced. back to trying to focus on property. i am struggling this week.

Black Letter Law

Black Letter Law (to the tune of "Red Letter Day" by The Get Up Kids)
You've got some nerve I never knew
What with the time that I devoted to learning you.
They said you'd be much clearer now.
But you're just a phase I've gotten over anyhow.
Be over! I'm not getting it, again.
I hide in the covers, from torts and all the others.
But you keep finding... But you keep finding me
I trusted misleading mnemonics worth repeating.
How could you do this to me?
Black letter law I can't learn.
Just want the grade that I deserve.
They said you'd be much clearer since
I bought the Restatements.
That was a lie. Who promises what, when did he sign?
What happens if he falls down?
Be over now.
I think I should try....
Try and forget it.
Be over.
Dear God.
I hide in the covers, from contracts like the others.
But you keep haunting... you keep haunting me
If I trusted misleading promises worth repeating.
Could you be liable to me?

One meme, and then memo time...

I've seen this one going around. I think I'm supposed to hit random on my i-Tunes for an answer to each question:

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Lay Low" (My Morning Jacket)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"Eres (You)" (Cafe Tacuba)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Tattoo" (Jordin Sparks)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Landslide" (Fleetwood Mac) (okay, this is really scary...)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Te Quiero (I love you)" (Monchy y Alexandra)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"With You" (Chris Brown)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Fantasias (Fantasies)" (Monchy y Alexandra)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Promising Light" (Iron & Wine)

WHAT IS 2+2?
"Breathe Me" (Sia)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"No ha sido facil (It hasn't been easy)" (Monchy y Alexandra)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Muddy Hymnal" (Iron & Wine)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Coat of Many Colors" (Dolly Parton)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Hoja en Blanco (Blank Sheet)" (Monchy y Alexandra)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"I Love It" (DJ Drama & Young Jeezy)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"If You're Going Through Hell" (Rodney Atkins)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Como Duele El Frio (How The Cold Hurts)" (Los Gigantes de Vallenato)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Joshua" (Dolly Parton)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Back Home" (Dolly Parton)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Perfect" (Smashing Pumpkins)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"In the Good Old Days" (Dolly Parton)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Bird Stealing Bread" (Iron & Wine)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Tres Palabras (Three Words)" (Binomio de Oro)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Top Back (remix)" (T.I.)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"La Ingrata (The Ingrate)" (Cafe Tacuba)

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"Niña Bonita (Pretty Girl)" (Binomio de Oro)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"Off the Record" (My Morning Jacket) (hahaha...)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
"I'm Going to Jackson" (Johnny Cash & June Carter)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Cumbia Poder (Cumbia Power)" (Celso Peña)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"Dare You To Move" (Switchfoot)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"No Me Queda Nada (I Have Nothing Left)" (Juanes)

My dog ate my prozac.

So T took the dog to the park today with his brother. Apparently our dog got into a fight with his brother's girlfriend's cat. Fine. That's to be expected. They had a nice day out anyway, running around the woods and exploring creeks. I stayed home and got to eat a leisurely late breakfast at the diner and get some work done on my memo. When they came home, E looked utterly exhausted. He conked out on the floor, and we left to go grocery shopping. Came home. Ate dinner. Played a few rounds of Boggle. I came back to the bedroom/my office to "get back to work" and noticed some little blue pills laying all over the bed. Now, I was up all night writing in pain from horrible cramps that wouldn't subside for four hours. But those pills were NOT the ones I was popping from 6 am to 10 am. No, they were my brand new 10 mgs, fresh from the school psych services, in powdery dust on the bed. (Okay, only one of them was busted, but still.) So apparently my dog is depressed. He is laying cozily on his bed right now, no doubt dreaming all happy thoughts. And I am wondering how to explain to my new scrip-writer that I am out of pills a few days early.

chastity or sex! or homo!

oh my!

just a little LexisNexis memo humor for ya. i've been at the library too long...

Owwwww.....

I am trying to hard to study. You wouldn't know it from the fact that I am making a blog entry right now, but I am doing a pretty decent job (I think). Tonight I find myself in a similar place to the one I was at a few weeks ago when memo #1 was due. I have an exam tomorrow, albeit a non-graded one for a Pass/Fail class. But it remains fact that I didn't start studying for the exam until two days ago, and only got serious about it yesterday. There's that whole time management thing again. Nonetheless, I am managing.

But I've been reading other blogs from other 1Ls and they all sound like they are getting so much more done than me. Like they are all so much more engaged in what they are learning. I know, I know... there's no point worrying about how I compare to other people. I actually really enjoy reading (lurking) on other 1L blogs, just to silently commiserate. Eventually, when I have a bit more time to spare, I'm going to get a blog roll going to link up to some of those other blogs. Til then, though, here's one post that should make any good sociology major (especially one who went to law school) chuckle: Top 5 Reasons to Drop Out of Social Sciences and Go To Law School!

Is it a beard? Is it a blog?

Everybody should spend some time on the 20 Questions website. It reads your mind, and if it doesn't, it's still very amusing! For kicks... I am going to play and enter every question and response here, to see if it can guess that I am thinking of a blog. Ready? Go!

1) Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Other, Unknown? Other
2) Can you control it? Yes
3) Is it found on a desk? No
4) Does it bring joy to people? Sometimes
5) Does it move? No
6) Is it delicious? No
7) Can you switch it on and off? No
8) Can you play with it? No
9) Does it smell sweet? No
10) Does it come in a box? No
11) Is it manufactured? No
12) Would you be lost without it? No
13) Is it comforting? Doubtful
14) Is it colorless? No
15) Is it small? Irrelevant
16) Do you use it at work? Sometimes
17) Is it flat? Irrelevant
18) Does it provide protection? No
19) Do most people use this daily? No
20) I am guessing that it is a party? Wrong
21) Is it outside? No
22) Can it cheer you up? Sometimes
23) Can you buy it? No
24) Does it have physical substance? No
25) Can it affect you? No
26) Is it a specific color? No
27) Is it lifeless? Yes
28) Does it use numbers? No
29) I am guessing that it is a beard? No
30) I am guessing that it is a question mark? No

You won! What you were thinking of is not in my knowledgebase.

You are Charlie Pace

My eyes generally glaze over when I see that someone has updated their blog with one of these things; yet, I couldn't resist. Hooray for the return of Lost!

Which Lost Character Are You?

More on Lost.

Thank God for Mead

PHEW! Just in time... Mead's putting out new notebooks designed specifically for grad students!

I was starting to wonder how I would be taking all my copious law student notes without having a laptop...