Last stop before 30

Hey! So in three days, I turn 30. And I hope that I remember to pack a pen and a journal to write about and reflect on turning 30. But I'm not doing it here. Maybe when I get back.

Instead, I'm trying to focus on studying for the state-specific portions of the Bar, and kind of obsessively calculating in the back of my mind at all times what the likelihood is that I'll not pass.

Tomorrow, though, we're headed back down to VA to see my best friend's baby turn 1 (!) and then go camping. Yay! We did that last year for my birthday, and it was awesome. Maybe a little tradition in the making? Who knows.

Oh yeah, and I pretty much didn't do any of the things left to do on my 30 before 30 list since the last time I posted. But that's cool. It just gives me some things to work on over the next year!

5 weeks, 2 days (don't blink)

When I contemplated the idea of going to law school, it was actually a sticking point that I would be almost 30 when I graduated. I thought to myself: "But if I go to law school, I'll be turning thirty - THIRTY!! - when I get out!" As if by not going to law school, I would somehow stop the passage of time. I guess I'll never know... ha!

Now I've knocked out law school, I am preparing to knock out the big 3-0 in just a few weeks. That means reassessing the many (many) things on my 30 before 30 list that I have yet to do. Along with patting myself on the back for the ones I've accomplished!

Without further ado, a recap (for myself of course):

1) Read the New Testament
2) Plant a (herb?) garden
3) Perfect grandma's chicken and rice
4) Learn to cook Ajiaco
5) Attend Catholic mass in Italian Latin and Spanish *
6) Get a Brazilian wax
7) Be able to do a new hairstyle (no ponytails)
8) Introduce T to my Colombian relatives
9) Learn to hem / basic sewing
10) Record my dad's life story
11) Visit my bro in CO or wherever he is
12) Run in a race
13) Play on an intramural/community sports team
14) Get a bike
15) Go back country camping
16) Go fishing
17) Spend a night dancing at a Latin music club
18) Shoot a roll of film & frame a new picture for my walls
19) Take a Tae Kwon Do class
20) Take a yoga class
21) Publish a zine
22) Ride a wave on a surf board
23) Take accordion lessons
24) Be a regular volunteer
25) Visit at least two local museums
26) Do an agility course with E
27) Play blackjack in a casino
28) Get a spray tan
29) Visit a farm with my mom
30) Take a road trip with T

* I went to Catholic mass in Latin and decided that I'd had enough novelty mass. However, I also went to a UMC church service out of curiosity (it happened to be a predominately black church, and I am white, and church in general is still a different scene for me, since I wasn't raised to go) and I'm counting that.

Looking over this list, it's funny some of the things that I haven't done, that I thought for sure I would do. I can't believe I've had two years to shoot a roll of film, and I haven't done it. That seems like the kind of thing you almost don't put on a list like this because it seems too obvious or easy. But, surprise! Two years pass by and it hasn't happened. That's why I encourage people to do these lists and to keep them simple. After all, time flies faster than you'd think. (Don't blink.)

On the other hand, I am quite proud that I have read the entire New Testament and actually introduced T to my relatives in Colombia! I was really looking forward to doing both of those things and knew they'd be crossed off just because I already had plans to do them. But nonetheless, I love that they happened!

And there are some things I never would have done if I hadn't made a list and thought to add them. Planting an herb garden is one. I've always wanted to, but I am sure I wouldn't have actually done it if I hadn't put it on a glorified to-do list. So after I finished my finals, the first thing I did was buy a few little pots and some seeds and get to work! Since we live in a third-floor firetrap apartment, my seedlings only live on my windowsill. But they are thriving - all except for the basil, sadly. Or is it sage? I'm not sure. But I've got sage (or is it basil?), cilantro and dill, and I can't wait to eat them! Yum.

I'm talking like I've run out of time, but I still have 5 wonderfully summery weeks left. (Si dios quiere.) (I am probably going to give myself an extension to the end of 30 anyway, just cause.) I can't wait to get to work on the rest of my list, which is just a list of fun things I want to do, after all. Not chores. Not ambitious goals. Not serious milestones. Just the stuff that I want to be happening while I'm busy making other plans. You know, life.

One of these days...

I'm going to return to updating the blog with some sort of normalcy. But for now, nothing feels very normal, and yet everything feels almost TOO normal. I'm in that weird period of limbo that is referred to as senioritis by high schoolers across America, but in law school is merely summarized by the last part of that overused yet strikingly accurate saying:

First year, they scare you to death.
Second year, they work you to death.
Third year, they bore you to death.

I would so rather be working than thinking about how I'm going to pull together a 30-page paper on truth commissions. I flat out refuse to think about what on earth got into me when I thought it would be a good idea to sign up for Transitional Justice in my last semester and fulfill my writing requirement by doing a paper on something NOT RELATED TO US DOMESTIC LAW when it's taken me 3 years to have even a whiff of understanding of that legal framework. Why did I think I could pull off a research paper on an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT KIND OF "LAW"?

Oh well.

At least I'm getting some amusement out of the fact that the two legal briefs I have to churn out for my clinical (aka actual cases, with real life consequences) seem like a piece of cake, a mere inconvenience. Feels like just a couple of months ago that I was terrified and avoiding my first-year memo. Bwahahaha.

It gets better, 1Ls.

Outside of law school and the slow death of my formal legal education (and our savings, which is now devoted exclusively to surviving the Bar), life appears to be at a standstill. I am knocking off things from my 30 Before 30 list (just about done with Revelation, the end is near!) and fantasizing with T about our next apartment and life with two incomes instead of one. (We're conveniently ignoring the part about how it comes with a giant mass of student loan debt.) I'm trying SO HARD to imagine what my future will look like, all the while knowing that I cannot possibly imagine it. All I know for sure-ish is that it will involve us staying in the Big City, for now, which means for the next year at least, and as far as I'm concerned that's all the future I need to think about right now. I can hardly handle that much.

Can you tell I'm overwhelmed? I'm overwhelmed. On the upside (not that any of the above is necessarily a downside) I am looking forward to a kick-a$$ graduation party!

Thanks, God

I prayed for calm last night. Lately my body feels like it's falling apart: persistent leg pain, chest tightness, crampiness, sporadic sinus problems, increasing waistline, exhaustion. While there's no doubt that I need to see a doctor for a physical soon, as it's been a while, I know myself well enough to believe that many of these symptoms are stress related.

I've been reading through the New Testament, as that's part of my 30 Before 30 list. I know I've mentioned it from time to time here. A while back, I read something where Paul was exhorting one of the many churches he wrote to that they should pray often and ask God for many things, as that was a testament to their faith. (Something like that. I'm paraphrasing.) I'm past that book, whichever one it was, and on to Timothy (Timothy 5 last night - with a lot of instructions on how to deal with widows in the church). But anyway... I read Timothy 5 and then turned off the light, and realized that it was going to be another night of struggling to breath deeply and fall asleep. So I prayed for calm.

I feel better this morning. I usually do after nights like that. I have a takehome exam due at 8 o'clock tonight and then it's cramming the absolute last bit of knowledge I can stuff into my brain about federal courts (hopefully I have room for half a syllabus) before my Wednesday exam. And then, finally, my Human Rights exam on Friday, which I'm just throwing my hands up in the air for and hoping that my past knowledge about human rights and international law will help me somewhat. So it's gonna be a crazy week. But I know that I can do it.

I tend to be my own worst enemy, playing around on the computer to the last minute, feeling sorry for myself for not doing anything while actively choosing not to do anything, etc. But today, I've done more in the first three hours of the day than I did any other morning over the last two weeks. And I'm not too terribly worried about these exams. So, thank you God, for listening to my prayer and helping me through this little hump.

NaBloPoMo (blackjack edition)

27) Play blackjack in a casino

Sweet!

My bro and I took a bus to Atlantic City yesterday. It was so much fun. And yes, after writing about being depressed, and drinking, and being generally unhealthy, gambling sure does seem like a step in the wrong direction. Haha. But for real, it was something we'd been trying to do all week, and playing a table game at a casino was on my 30 Before 30 list. So there were good, non-self-destructive reasons for going.

And I'm glad we did. Because I started with $20 in my pocket, spent $5 on food, and ended up with $65 in cash on the busride back. My brother and I really just pooled all our money together, a whopping total of $80. But we wound up with nearly $300, which is some pretty good beginner's luck, if you ask me! (Although JC is no beginner.. apparently he played a lot in the casinos around Denver, and got pretty good on one piece of advice about craps - bet on the 6.)

So now I am addicted to craps, feel dangerously confident about my ability to play blackjack, am still amazed that you can order any drink you want and it's free, and will definitely be going back to the AC with T for a date night sometime. (T is in VA this weekend. I stayed behind to catch up on school work.)

Incidentally, I did get my P this morning (TMI or whatever), and I do feel somewhat better today. But I'm also still quite concerned about things I need to change about my lifestyle, and about my mental health in general, and looking forward to having a quiet house again next week, so I can catch up with T and we can make a game plan for improvements in our routine.

NaBloPoMo, yo (spray tan edition)

Yep, I'm gonna do it. Or try at least. Na(tional)Blo(g)Po(st)Mo(nth), here I come!

So what should I talk about to get started? How about spray tanning! After all, it was #28 on my 30 Before 30 list...

Ten Tips and Fun Facts About Spray Tanning:
1. That sh*t is cold! You are basically signing up to have your bare body sprayed down with something that feels like liquid oxygen: smoky, freezing and damp. Just so you know.

2. Wear baggy, old clothes that cover up as much skin as possible. Why? Because there are two ways to really mess up a newly spray-tanned body: allowing skin to touch skin and allowing rain to touch skin. Both of these things can be avoided with "modest" clothing. Guess which of these two spray tan newbie errors happened to me? Both! You can figure out why I suggest baggy and old, right?

3. Invest in Dove or Ivory Original Formula soap bars. That's what the lady told me anyway, and since she has won many awards for her spray tan expertise (or at least that's what she told me several times), I trust her. According to Lady, any other kind of soap with smelly fragrances and special formulas can do "funny things" to your tan.

4. If you don't moisturize already (I don't), be prepared to start. Because spray tan gunk will dry that skin out! And apparently that skin gets blotchy faster if you don't moisturize on the regular.

5. You will look like Pig Pen from Peanuts for the first day or so. Until you are allowed to shower, you pretty much just look super dirty and shiny, as if you've been walking through a dust storm that has somehow caused your face to look ultra greasy. It goes away.

6. Droplets of rain that fall down your arm, touch the tops of your feet or drip across your chest will not go away. But they will fade. And look like stretch marks. See #2.

7. Day #2 is the Oompa-Loompiest day. I found myself looking the most orange on the first full day after my tan, once I had showered and the actual tan had started to "come in." On the plus side, my teeth appeared ultra-shiny white!

8. Day #4 is your best day. Which is why if you are getting tanned for a Saturday event, I recommend doing the tan on a Wednesday. On Saturday my skin was the color of perfectly golden toasted marshmallow. (Right down to the puffiness, but that's no fault of the spray tan.) I'll admit it: I looked pretty damn good!

9. You can get creative with tan lines. The first question my tanning lady asked me when we got into the room was whether I wanted to tan nude. That was her suggestion, but I decided against it, opting instead for a cute pair of undies that I never wear because they are...uncomfortable. However, they made for a great tan line, so I'm glad I've held on to them all these years! You could do the bikini thing if you're shy, but really, there are endless possibilities when it comes to the spray tan outfit. Have fun with it!

10. At $30-$50 per tan, it's probably not really worth doing on a regular basis, considering the upkeep and, well, cost. But would I do it again? For another fancy event in California? Sure! For most anything else, meh. Maybe if T is treating.

BOTTOM LINE: There's really nothing scary about a spray tan, and it's kind of fun and makes for a good story. Plus, you really don't come out looking all orange-y, like everyone warned me I would. If you're on the fence, I'd recommend trying it just once, if only for sh*ts and giggles!

Set em up, knock em down

Must get to shower to "shave and exfoliate," as the woman on the phone said. Because in about 40 mintues I'm going to be standing in some bizarre shower stall thing in my skimpiest bikini while a woman I don't know sprays me brown.

Yep, I'm getting my spray tan, and just in time for an upcoming family wedding in California. I'm thinking of posting before and after pics... but we'll see. This is so amusing and fun!

My first race

Tomorrow I am running my first ever 5K. My first ever race, actually, unless you count elementary school field days. I used to dread that one day of the year when our P.E. class had to run four laps around the soccer field. The Dreaded Mile. But today, in what was perhaps a stupid rookie mistake, I ran/walked 2 miles (0.5 run, 0.25 walk, 0.75 run, 0.5 walk) along my street.

So, if all goes as planned, tomorrow I'll be able to cross another one off my list. Wish me luck!

One in 10 million

I'm laying on the couch in long underwear, drinking my coffee almost the exact opposite of the way I prefer it. The dryer is running, the sun is shining, and the dog doesn't know it but he's going to the vet in about 90 minutes. Five out of the last six weekends have been spent either away or with out-of-town guests, and I do not intend to leave town again for several weeks. I'm enjoying this moment: settling back in to routine.

However, I am proud to announce that I've knocked off several of the things from my 30 Before 30 list:

#22: Ride a wave on a surf board

Over the last weekend before school started, I was in VA Beach with T visiting his family. Even though we usually spend that time catching up with his old high school friends and lazing on the deck with his parents, the weather was unusually perfect and we were unusually motivated to not be lazy. With minimal cajoling on my part, and enthusiastic prodding on the part of his mom, T loaded his old surf board into the car and we drove downtown to his old surf spot.

The water was extremely calm, with almost no waves breaking on the shore. Couple that with my ridiculously poor upper-arm strength, and I never did get up on the board. Even if I had, I probably would've chickened out and dropped before I had a chance to ride a wave, but we'll never know. Ahem. Anyway, what I did get to do was ride a wave in while laying flat on the board. It wasn't how I envisioned riding a wave on a surf board, but I'm still counting my surf lesson with my hot surf instructor as a win for my 30b30 list, because I made it all the way to the shore while clinging to that thing for dear life. I even got the sand in my suit to prove it!

#29: Go to a farm with my mom

Last weekend, my mom and I went to a farm in Red Oak, Virginia. It was a "working" farm, meaning you could help out with the animals and such if you wanted. We didn't. But we did go horseback riding in the backwoods, past fields of wildflowers, old tobacco barns and hidden whisky stills. We did pet goats and donkeys and rabbits and cows. My mom got to wander through a fenced in area full of various poultry - guinea hens, chickens and...more chickens? And we ate an incredible home-cooked dinner of corn on the cob, barbecue chicken, dirty rice, dill green beans, squash with onions and salad. Not to mention the sweet tea. Precious, precious sweet tea. And we sat on the front porch of the farm house in rocking chairs, looking out over the fields where bulls sat in bits of tree shade swatting flies with their ears. I had a great time hanging out with my mom, and she had a great time being around her "people" (animals). I'm really glad we got to share that experience.

#16: Go fishing

And then this past weekend, T & I had to go back down to VA Beach. (Long story.) While we were there, I requested demanded that we go fishing. Outside the odd outing with an ex-boyfriend or old high school pal, I haven't been fishing since I was a little kid and my grandpa would take us out to the lake by our family's cabin in the Shenandoah mountains. Sometimes we went up to PA to fish with my dad's cousin, who was a skilled fly fisherman and taught me how to string a line.

I'll be honest. The most tantalizing part of the fishing experience, to me, was getting to sit for a couple of hours in a lawn chair, drinking beers and reading in the sun. T gathered up all his family's old fishing gear from the garage, and we set off to a nearby fishing pier that claims to be the longest pier in the Atlantic. (Don't they all claim that, though?) A few dollars and a bag of bloodworms later, we were set up on our own little piece of the pier, with our Yuengling cans, New Yorker magazines and fishing rods cast deep into the Atlantic.

Less than five minutes after we arrived, a guy came over to give us his left-over bait (another bag of bloodworms, a can of nightcrawlers and a box of squid). T caught a croaker in the first hour, and I fretted over whether to toss him back as I bought a bag of ice for the bucket and tried to ignore his death throes. A leathery old man walked up to T as I was hooking a bloodworm and exclaimed, "You're letting her bait your line?!" to which T shrugged, "She insisted" and I turned around to defend myself, "I can bait my own line!" The seaman laughed, cigarette dangling from his lips, and told T, "Hang on to this one. She's one in ten million!"

That may be so, but I never caught a fish :) And to tell the truth, I'm kind of glad.

Big wheel keep on turning

So I am currently in Applying For Fellowships Hell. I've got a self-imposed deadline of Friday for the first draft of my project description. Going from laidback summer to the pressure and deadlines of finding a G-O-B is neither easy nor fun. Getting my reading done is about the last of my troubles at this point. Thankfully, I've been on top of it.

I will be happy when September is over, fellowship applications are in, and I can move on to other, less time sensitive (though not less competitive) forms of job-seeking. In the meantime, I've very, very grateful for the New Yorker subscription T got me for my birthday. Nothing like losing yourself in a biography of the head of the NIH to make you forget your troubles and get a good night's sleep.

I'm not the best at multi-tasking or even thinking about more than one thing at a time. But somewhere in the back of my head, I've vaguely recalling that I have a date with my mom for an upcoming weekend trip to a "working farm," which I thought meant a farm that is actually functioning, but my dad pointed out to me is probably a farm where the guests have to work! Um... But yeah, that's one of those 30 before 30 things I've put on my list, and I can't wait to check it off! Also, we have a wedding to go to in October, and I have plans to wax and spray tan before we leave... I've even talked my FFSIL (faux-future-sister-in-law) into going with me for the tan! Priorities, priorities, right? I'm also going on a back-to-school outing to a MLB baseball game, for the first time since I moved to the Big City, and my BFF is coming to visit with her little baby boy, my honorary nephew. Good things abound, if I can just not sabotage my efforts to pursue this fellowship.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me that I'll stay on track.

Lightening bug days

Saw the first lightening bug of the summer today! First lightening bug of the summer is always a quietly joyous occasion for me. I smile inside whenever I first catch sight of the glowing green dots, and for a moment I'm transported back to the cul-de-sac of my childhood neighborhood... bikes on kickstands...fireworks, sparklers, a ride around the block in my neighbor's shiny convertible...high school buddies crowded together to celebrate my July birthday... summertime.

Tomorrow, among the various chores I have assigned myself, I am also going to start a running regime. I want to train to run a race, so I can cross another off my list of 30 Before 30. It doesn't hurt, too, that I forced an admission out of T that he would like me to lose some weight. I forced this admission from him because I know I've put on weight, about 15 pounds that have stuck with me since fall of the year I turned 25, to a total of about 20 pounds since college (give or take 5 pounds depending on the day). I want me to lose some of that weight. I want to stay attractive to my husband. And what's more attractive than self-esteem. Of which I've been severly lacking as the months turn into years and my hips and belly continue to expand more rapidly than the rest of me. And it's just hard to snap out of denial and face reality when you've got a husband telling you he loves you no matter what, he doesn't notice, he thinks you look great, etc. All of which may be true. But I still need certain cold, hard truths. Do you wish my stomach wasn't quite so protruding? You do? Ok, good. Now I know. And by the way, so do I. I'll work on that. It's part of the radical honesty that we promised one another when we took our wedding vows. I appreciate that I can count on it when I ask for it.

This weekend was a semi-success in moderation. An old friend visited for the night on Saturday, which also happened to be the night a new friend had rented a local church bowling alley for his annual Beers & Bowling party. Come on, that's awesome, right? Bowling in a church with a keg of Lionshead and tables upon tables of air hockey and foosball for the conquering. So, Saturday night, I went a little big. But considering I spent the entire day just watching the scenery at Big City's Biggest Block Party, where street vendors were serving vodka-spiked popsicles and every man, woman and child grandparent in the city was toting around a plastic cup of PBR, I'd say that a few beers after the sun goes down made for a pretty quiet Saturday. Aside from that, I mostly played Bananagrams on Facebook (my new obsession), enjoyed the weather and ate lots and lots of pizza while trying to understand the rules to a game that involves a bunch of grown men knocking a strange ball into the neighbors' windows with sticks. Oh, and T and I started Big Love. So psyched!

All play and no work...

Well I can now cross accordion lessons off my list.

Take accordion lessons.

That felt good! Of course, yesterday's lesson was only the first lesson in what I hope will blossom into a long and glorious tutelage under the fine instructor at my local accordion shop. I can now proudly declare (and plan to do so on a regular basis for at least the next seven days) that I am capable of playing "Row, row, row your boat" on the accordion in the key of C Major. Sweet!

Seriously, this is awesome. One day, I hope to be able to play this. But for now, it's still this...

In other news, my life is not all roses and sunshine, despite all the roses honeysuckles and sunshine spilling forth from the streets of the Big City. I'm concerned about and working to improve the balance in my life between career productivity, relaxation and personal/emotional development. I think I spend farrrrr too much time in the middle category of relaxation, to the point where perhaps I'm not doing enough reflecting and wasting a lot of time that I could be growing and maturing.

At my last day of my internship on Wednesday, my boss sat me down and told me she wanted to have a "frank" talk with me about some things before I moved on. She'd got word that an application I'd submitted for a scholarship a while back was missing several items and generally sloppily put-together. (I'm sure this is true, since I threw it together at the last possible minute.) We talked for a bit about how my work is really good in the office, but that I can sometimes send out hasty communications and procrastinate in other areas to the point where it reflects poorly on my capabilities. This was only slightly embarassing to hear; mostly I was happy that she took the time to be straight with me and not just give me fluffy feedback. There's no greater skill in a mentor than the ability to give useful and valid criticism in a gentle and caring manner.

Sometimes I feel like I've drifted too far off course. Before we came to Big City, before I enrolled in law school, there were things that I sensed were missing from my life. A sense of direction. A meaningful career. Certain experiences that are just missing from small southern towns. Our decision to move to Big City and to have me pursue this education has paid off in spades, and not just in the ways I anticipated. T found that he can thrive in a career working for an employer (i.e. not self-employed), that there are some benefits to an office full of colleagues. He loves being able to provide for his family (i.e. me and Elvis and our future). I'm reaping the benefits of attending a diverse school, living in an old immigrant neighborhood, walking everywhere, reacquainting myself with people my age after a relatively solitary period in my life. We've developed closer relationships with T's brother, perhaps the most rewarding surprise to come from the whole experience. In so many ways, it's been awesome.

And then there are the things we gave up. Some of them we knew we'd be leaving behind. It was two hours south to see T's parents, two hours north to see mine. Any time we wanted to get away, we could hop in the car and be back in old familiar territory in time for a homecooked meal (or, you know, pizza from Ledo's). Rent was cheaper. Almost all of our friends were closer and a visit was never hard to arrange. T had a truly fulfilling business that, if not always thriving, was always challenging and rewarding. We knew we were giving some of that up. It was a hard decision to make, our decision to forego my attending law school in the same place we'd been living and maintain the status quo. We didn't know anything for certain, but we were pretty sure that we'd be glad we'd taken the risk.

I am glad. T is glad. But there are so many things I couldn't have anticipated. Things that are just a part of change, I guess. Like how many more days we spend hanging out at bars, rather than sitting on porches. It was boring to feel confined to a porch sometimes; but it's also boring to feel confined to a bar stool. Life is busier... there are fewer days where we sit around looking at each other and wondering what to do with our afternoons. We are tired from working so much, so we nap a lot. We have friends and acquaintances to catch up with, lots of invitations to meet up (at bars), so we stay up too late, spending money and drinking. We can get almost anywhere we need to be on foot, so we rarely find ourselves on car rides singing along to the radio. When school is in session, I have studying to do pretty much round the clock, so I spent lots of time shutting out distractions so I can read, or procrastinating on the internet. T has to entertain himself so he works late, or works in his home office, or goes out with friends. Life sometimes feels like a flurry of activity and then I start to miss the slow pace of Virginia. We used to love to grocery shop. (Okay...I did. But I also loved dragging T with me to do it.) Now it's a chore I can barely squeeze in, and we walk the two blocks to pick up little things here and there instead of making it a whole excursion.

I just feel run down and I miss the little world we had in the smaller city. It all felt more mangeable, more healthy. We're just changing, evolving, I know. I know that's normal. But in some ways I think I want to redirect the course of that change a little. Get back a little of the cozier lifestyle where we had to work for our fun, instead of buying it for $2 a can on just about any corner in the city. KWIM?

30 before 30, redux

Okay, so I've got about three weeks until my job starts. I want to make the most of this time! What better way to kick off the summer than to review the 30 Before 30 list I created last year for my 28th birthday and try to knock out a few things. I should go ahead and add some as well, since I really only listed like 22, I think?

Here it is:

1) Read the New Testament [I'm halfway there...]
2) Plant a (herb?) garden
3) Perfect grandma's chicken and rice [Well... I cooked it again, but I'm not sure I quite perfected it!]
4) Learn to cook Ajiaco
5) Attend Catholic mass in Italian Latin and Spanish (neighborhood churches around here do that sort of thing) [Latin mass attended; next up, Spanish!]
6) Get a Brazilian wax [This was supposed to be the 'gimme' for my wedding, but I kinda sorta chickened out...]
7) Be able to do a new hairstyle (no ponytails) [I learned how to properly blow-dry my hair and straighten it... I'm counting that as a win.]
8) Introduce T to my Colombian relatives [This New Years....]
9) Learn to hem / basic sewing
10) Record my dad's life story
11) Visit my bro in CO or wherever he is [Did it last December!!]
12) Run in a race [Gonna train to run the big city 10k next May!]
13) Play on an intramural/community sports team
14) Get a bike
15) Go back country camping
16) Go fishing
17) Spend a night dancing at a Latin music club [I've danced my behind off at a couple places this year :)]
18) Shoot a roll of film & frame a new picture for my walls
19) Take a Tae Kwon Do class
20) Take a yoga class
21) Publish a zine
22) Ride a wave on a surf board
NEW ADDITIONS
23) Take accordion lessons
24) Be a regular volunteer
25) Visit at least two local museums
26) Do an agility course with E
27) Play blackjack in a casino
28) Get a spray tan
29) Visit a farm with my mom
30) Take a road trip with T

Ok.... this is gonna be fun! I haven't gotten far yet, but I can definitely tackle these items within the next year and some change. This time last year, I had fallen down the stairs and hurt my leg, gotten sick with bronchitis and was about to lose two family members, one completely unexpectedly; and I was planning a wedding to boot. This summer, I pray, will be more relaxing, slower-paced and inspiring. Woo hoo!

Chicken Sudado: Adventures in live-blogging!

Because this is what happens when I'm left alone in the apartment for 48 hours with nothing but a dog to keep me from falling into the abyss of my new laptop... I am going to a potluck in T minus 2 hours 21 minutes, and I have a paper due on Tuesday for which I've written nothing but a meager outline and a thesis statement.

One of the 30 things I want to do before I turn 30 is perfect my mom's chicken and rice, which is really a misnomer because it's actually an awesome Colombian chicken stew-type dish that must be served with white rice. It was my favorite dish growing up and I've only made it a couple of times as an adult. Last time was 4 years ago, and let's just say that night was infamously affectionately dubbed the "Night of the Salsa de Plastico".

So, without further ado.... #3: Perfect my mom's chicken & rice: LIVE-BLOG FORMAT!!!

3:15 - I walk to Whole Foods feeling totally blessed to live only a block and a half from Whole Foods Market. With weather this cold, it's awesome that a trip to the store is just a skip, hop and jump away.

3:25 - After spending $8.38 on hydroponic tomatoes (p.s. wtf are hydroponic tomatoes??) I feel slightly less blessed by WFM.

3:30 - Sidestepping vomit in the alley on the walk home, I just want to be back inside.

3:40 - To E (the dog): "Let's live-blog this biatch!"

3:51 - Trying out the Emeril dutch oven for the first time. Had been waiting to season it, but I just decided it must have come "pre-seasoned" because this is the only pot big enough to hold 10 thighs and 5 drumsticks. Yes, that's way too much chicken. I don't care. I only make this every 4 years!

4:00 - Chicken is cooking in dutch oven on medium heat, covered, liberally sprinkled with salt. One chopped up large yellow onion and two chopped up large tomatoes are stewing in with it. Also added 2 T. of olive oil. I can hear the juices stirring. Sidenote: "sudado" means "sweaty" which is exactly how the chicken cooks - in its own sweat. Yum!

4:02 - Last time I cooked this dish, I was dancing around the kitchen to bachata. Not much room to kitchen-dance in this place:

But I can still sing along to K95 country. "Hell yeah! Turn it up!"

4:13 - Emergency phone call to Mom: "Do you peel the potatoes?" Mom says yes. Damn. I guess striving for perfection has its costs.

4:23 - All in! Roll call: 12 thighs, 6 drumsticks, 4 yukon gold potatoes, 6 carrots, 3 tomatoes, 1 onion (should I add more, I wonder?)... and 2 T. of olive oil. Now to let cook, covered, on medium heat for 30 minutes or so, before I stir it some more...

4:29 - What's worse than your dad nagging you to clean up? Your husband nagging you to clean up. What's worse than your husband nagging you to clean up? Your husband adopting your dad's catch-phrases to nag you to clean up. What's worse than all of the above? Hearing your husband and your dad nag you (in unison!) to clean up when you are completely alone in the house. "Clean as you go!" they nag. I know, I know...

4:41 - Panicked and added another half an onion. E apparently took advantage of the crisis to sneak a chunk of potato from the kitchen to his spot in the living room. Then decided it wasn't cooked enough for his tastes. What a snob.

4:42 - Back to work on my immigration paper. Good-bye, country music.

4:47 - Nevermind. Dog is whining. Can I take the dog outside while the chicken is cooking without burning down my entire building, I wonder? Or if I feed him, will he leave me alone so I can write?

5:06 - Dog let me feed him and left me alone. I've written 375 words. A 2,000-word limit is a lot less than I thought. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, the smell of that chicken is making it harrrrrrrd to concentrate.

5:45 - Chanced a trip outside with the dog while the chicken simmered on the stove.

5:49 - Returned to find the apartment happily still in tact.

5:50 - Started the rice. Listen people, this is how you make good rice:

1. Put a pot on the stove and dump in a little oil (1/2 - 1 T is probably enough).
2. Heat up the oil on medium-high
3. Put in the rice - say 1 cup.
4. Shake the rice around a bunch until its coated with the oil.
5. Add twice the amount of water as rice - in this case, 2 cups.
6. Shake salt into pot liberally to taste.
7. Bring the water to a boil over medium-high heat (or high, if you like a little burned rice on the bottom of your pot, like my dad).
8. Let it cook, UNCOVERED, until the water is boiled down to the point where you can't see it and there are holes in the surface of the rice.
9. Reduce heat to low and cover the pot.
10. Cook 20 minutes or until fluffy/done.

6:02 - Just tried the chicken it is AMAZING. Added more salt. Per mom's instructions, I am now letting the chicken cook uncovered for the last 20 minutes, to allow the sauce to thicken up.

6:07 - How the hell am I going to get 7 blocks on foot with a giant dutch oven full of chicken, a pot of rice and Taboo? Is this one of those tricks with the fox, the chicken and the bag of corn?

6:17 - Uh oh. Here's something I didn't expect. I'm falling asleep...

6:26 - And... DONE! (The picture doesn't do it justice, but I had to take a closing shot!)


Buen provecho, ya'll :) Let me know if you like it!

The Deposition Queen

Tonight, I am full of myself. Why? Because tonight, during Trial Advocacy, I did my first deposition. I only had 20 minutes, and was assigned a mere portion of the case to cover with the witness. But I KILLED it! And henceforth, I have dubbed myself the Deposition Queen.

Cocky, I know. I'm indulging myself.

Seriously, though. I loved it. Doing a deposition felt like going on a scavenger hunt or playing 20 Questions or being an investigator. Instead of getting to read through an employee file (this is a sexual harassment case) I actually get to pick the brains of one of the key characters! I told my classmates I had a lot of practice cross-examining witnesses when T & I were dating. (Who am I kidding? I still grill him for info on a daily basis...)

I was supposed to go to Virginia with T this weekend. Instead, I am staying in the Big City so that I can attend a tax clinic training and work on a paper for my Crimes & Immigration class. Ugh. A paper for class. And a class taught by my legal writing professor at that! I'm having bad memo flashbacks... I guess this is what I get for not doing a journal. Since I'm stuck here though, I will be able to do a couple things. 1. I can go to the "J party" (1/2 way to JD celebration) in which the school pays a bunch of money for 2Ls to drink free beer, further cementing the co-dependent relationship of the legal profession and alcohol (I'm starting to think there's some kind of secret marketing agreement between law schools and Budweiser, like how all the public schools have Pepsi machines). 2. I will be attending a friend's potluck on Sunday and cooking my grandmother's recipe for chicken & rice (chicken sudado), so I can hopefully check off another of my 30 before 30.

Anyway, I am just killing time until T comes to bed so we can watch Supernanny or Modern Family on Hulu. He's walking the dog, but I should probably brush my teeth before he gets back. I'm being a bad laptop owner and sitting in the bed with the computer. Breaking my own rules. Oh, well. I suppose the Deposition Queen can do as she pleases.

Resolved

I am thrilled that we are beginning not only a new year, but a new decade. I'm surprised to find myself happy about such a heavy marker of how quickly time passes. But when it comes down to it, I'm happy to be moving forward rather than trying to cling to the past. Moving forward means progressing, getting better at things, becoming wiser (hopefully)... That's my hope for this new year, anyway.

Resolutions aren't really something I make a big deal out of each year. In the spirit of my first post of 2010, however, I think it's appropriate to reflect on what I could do better. So, in no particular order, here goes...

1. Be a better partner.
T and I were talking on the plane ride out to Colorado about something that I had read out in the blogosphere recently, in a post about things nobody tells you about marriage. I remarked to him that getting married has really made me see how selfish I am. Surprisingly, he said he felt the same way. Before we were married, I felt like everything I did to help out T was a gift out of love. You don't give gifts every day, do you? They are special, a treat, something that can be bestowed or not, at the pleasure of the gift-giver.

But almost immediately after we became marrieds, I began noticing all the opportunities I was not taking to help with all of the little things in life that makes running a joint household so much smoother -- unloading the dishwasher, paying a parking ticket on time, studying during the day so I have more time in the evening to hang out, making the coffee in the morning. I have so much to learn about being a good partner, and it starts with my attitude. So, my first resolution of this year is to work on being a better partner by viewing my actions less as gifts and more opportunities to give T a reason to feel as grateful as I do for this partnership.

2. Plan ahead.
We knew we wanted to go to Denver, but we weren't entirely ready to commit to a date. I watched the plane ticket prices skyrocket from a non-stop flight out of our home airport for under $200 round-trip, to $400 for a flight with two layovers each way. We ended up having to drive an hour and a half to get to a smaller airport, where we'd have to stopover in my hometown just to pay the same price. And I had to defer an exam so we wouldn't miss our flight.

That's just the latest example, in a year where I lost a chance to get grant money for the summer, had to pay exorbitant late fees on parking tickets and swore up and down to my aunt that my failure to make car reservations for our all-expenses paid honeymoon trip wasn't out of a lack of gratefulness but due to my embarrassing procrastination. I could rattle off a list of reasons excuses, but what's the point? I can do better. This year, I resolve to have the difficult conversations, quit avoiding unpleasant tasks and simply get the job done sooner.

3. Appreciate my family.
I lost my uncle in 2009. One of the things I am most grateful for when I reflect back on my relationship with him is that it existed beyond my childhood. He and his family moved away from the area where I grew up when I was very young. I remember someone telling me they'd be back in 5 years, and thinking that 5 years seemed like an eternity. I kept waiting and waiting for my cousins to live closer again, and eventually I realized that well over 10 years had passed, and they weren't coming back. Shortly after, my uncle divorced his wife and moved back to his and my dad's home country. It would've been easy for him to remain a distant character in my life at that point. He almost did.

My junior year of college, he was visiting home and my dad drove him down to see me at school. At the time, a professor was trying to get me to apply for a grant and travel abroad, since she knew I was restless and itching to get out of town. As I told my uncle and dad about this idea, they encouraged me to consider going down to Colombia. My uncle invited me to stay with him there, and for some reason, I uncharacteristically jumped at the invitation. I scribbled out a grant proposal and within months was down to my family's country of origin for the first time in my life. I've been back every two years since.

At our wedding, my uncle wasn't there, but my aunt who lives out in Colorado was. So were my two cousins that had moved away so many years ago, who never returned and who I saw for the first time in years only a month earlier at their father's funeral. There is so much family out there that I love dearly and don't want to lose touch with. This year, I resolve to make a greater effort to stay in touch with my loved ones, including my own parents. I've got Skype now. I've got a husband who actually likes getting to know all the characters in my gnarled family tree. I've just gotta do it!

4. Get through some of those 30 things I want to do before I turn 30.
Enough said!

So those are my resolutions for 2010. None have anything to do with law school, thank goodness. I'll be happy simply to get through my second year and get a job. And if I stick to resolutions #1 & #2, I should be able to get paid. There ya have it! Anyone else got any resolutions?

The first shall be last

This is the semester that will not die. My original plan was to be done early, while all the rest of the suckers slaved away during the second half of exam week. It happened that all four of my exams were scheduled during the first week, and although I could postpone some, I had no plans to put off the inevitable. After all, my brother was graduating from college on December 12th, after many long years of equivocating over whether to put forth the effort to get the degree. On top of that, one of my 30 things to do before turning 30 was to get out to Denver to visit him. I was planning on boarding a plane on Friday with nothing but a change of clothes and a fifty dollar bill with which to get my brother hammered.

Then my first exam happened on Monday. I was able to fight off the strong urge to go straight to the bar to drink my troubles (i.e. 1500-word limits!) into oblivion. As any survivor of a law school exam will know, that is no small feat. However, the only reason I was able to stay sober was because I had a date to study with a classmate for my evidence exam, a mere 40 hours away. After we were through, thoughts of the "free slot" exam I had planned to take the next day took on a laughable tone. Instead of studying, I hung up Christmas decorations with T and we watched more Deadwood. Post-Evidence exam on Wednesday, I had all but vowed in blood that I'd be postponing ONE exam until the next week. I was still ready to take on Employment Law on Friday.

Then I remembered rush hour traffic. To be more precise, my friend reminded me that the airport we were planning to fly out of on Friday at 7:00 takes an hour and fifteen minutes to get to without traffic. My exam was due to let out at 5:30. It was postpone exam #2 or miss brother's graduation (and lose out on a bunch of money). I made a beeline to the Dean of Academic Affairs.

So. Flashforward one week and here I am about ready to take an exam at 6:00 so I can come home to cram for my final final exam on Thursday (or, horrors!... Friday??). Thus I am fulfilling at least the second half of the biblical prophecy: The last shall be first, and the first shall be last. May I never secretly gloat over finishing my finals before other law students again.

A Sunday at St. Paul's

Realizing that I haven't updated here in like a million years, for no particularly good reason, I just need to throw out here that I just got back from my first ever Catholic Mass! (Unless you count funerals and weddings.) I know that on my 30 Before 30 list, I had put that I wanted to attend one of the local masses in Spanish or Italian, but instead I went to a full-on Latin Mass. While the ritualism and formulaic nature of the service is definitely not necessarily for me, I definitely see some value in the sense of tradition and the dedication of the parishoners. I'm glad I went. It was an hour and a half of a Sunday well-spent. If nothing else, it's nice to step out of the craziness of life for a little while and take some time to reflect (or space out).

In other 30 Before 30 accomplishments, I'm now almost done with the Gospel of John, which will put me through all 4 of the gospels and a good way through my goal of reading the New Testament! I realize that all my goals seem oriented toward religion, but these happen to be a couple of the easiest of my goals to accomplish. I'm debating whether learning to put mousse in my hair counts as learning a new hairstyle.

And since it's such a beautiful day out, I'm going to saddle up the dog and round up some casebooks and go sit in the park to study. See how that works out.

rhymes with pronfession

confession #1: i have no idea why my last blog post looks like it does. i wrote what i wrote in a text document, then decided i might as well post it on the blargh. for some reason it copied and pasted that way. i thought it looked cool.

confession #2: i am worried about a loved one having a drinking problem. i'm not sure how to deal with this, as it's a problem i've never had to deal with before. anyone out there? experiences with this?

confession #3: i cried on the phone with my dad today. this was after a big fight we had as i was leaving virginia last weekend. the tears took me by surprise, but out they came. big, fat and hot. i felt better.

confessions aside, i've been doing farmworker outreach for the last couple of days. i would write more about that, but the tenor i'm getting from the blarghosphere is that i shouldn't. so i won't.

t and i spent the night, as we promised each other we would, plotting out the ceremony details. all sorts of things that The Knot timelines say to do months in advance (you know, back when we were getting engaged), we're just getting around to doing. like, finding someone to perform the service. still looking for that special photographer. could it be you?

in other news, i am working on reading the new testament. i figure, i gotta start somewhere on this 30 before 30 thing. i really want to get out and take some film pictures with my ol' SLR, but i am gonna wait until i am done with my job after next week (woohoo!) to do that. last night, i read my single chapter aloud to T, who said, "borrrrrringgggg..." and i said, "i know!" but then the jealous king killed all the little children under 2, and i remembered hearing that story when i was a kid, and i thought, "how tragic! how violent! i wonder what happens next?" i am trying to psych myself up. ah, agnosticism!

Multiples of 7

I am now 7x4 years old. My birthday was celebrated on the same day as America's, since my actual birthday was spent at a funeral service for T's grandma, which was a surprisingly nice way to pass the day (honoring and hanging with loved ones). On July 4th, T's parents had us, along with T-bro and his GF on their sailboat. I spent most of the trip chatting with T-mom about wedding plans. Since she spent the last month nursing her suddenly terminally ill mother, she was eager to reconnect with happier thoughts of our upcoming celebration. The rest of the sailing excursion I spent drinking beers and imagining future children running around pulling ropes and saying things like "tighten the jib!" and "crank the wench!" and other phrases that only make me giggle. After doing some brief genealogical research, I learned that T's family roots are buried deep in the sandy earth of the Eastern Shore on both sides. He comes from a salty past. I like that.

I also drew out a list of the 30 things I want to do before I turn 30, but promptly lost it. I will try to recreate it here... If I don't get to all 30, I will at least try to fulfill the ones I do remember. I decided that I've done like a million really awesome things in my life, and I'm not dying to do a lot right now. There are only a few very big things I want to do, none of which felt right on a list of items to check off. (Hello, "Get my JD"!) So, anyway... here they are, in no particular order:

1) Read the New Testament
2) Plant a (herb?) garden
3) Perfect grandma's chicken and rice
4) Learn to cook Ajiaco
5) Attend Catholic mass in Italian and Spanish (neighborhood churches around here do that sort of thing)
6) Get a Brazilian wax
7) Be able to do a new hairstyle (no ponytails)
8) Introduce T to my Colombian relatives
9) Learn to hem / basic sewing
10) Record my dad's life story
11) Visit my bro in CO or wherever he is
12) Run in a race
13) Play on an intramural/community sports team
14) Get a bike
15) Go back country camping
16) Go fishing
17) Spend a night dancing at a Latin music club
18) Shoot a roll of film & frame a new picture for my walls
19) Take a Tae Kwon Do class
20) Take a yoga class
21) Publish a zine
22) Ride a wave on a surf board

That is all I can remember now. If I remember more, I will post them. For now, I think I have a good list of things to get started on! I'm kind of excited -- this could be my ticket to getting off the computer and out the door!