Thursday, April 15, 2010

The petulant child & the sulking casebooks

You can't make me. Nobody can make me.

That's what the small child in my head seems to be pouting loudly at every responsibility thrown my way, over and over throughout the day. I swear the only reason I made it to class on time this morning is because I thought I was going a half-hour late.

Right now I am just so resentful of law school and all the endless nagging responsibilities it entails. "Write me!" demands the paper due on Tuesday. "Make me clever!" comes the cajoling voice of my cross-examination for tomorrow's mock trial. "Hey, don't forget about us over here," my dusty old casebooks cry from the corner of the living room, where they've gone untouched for days upon days (weeks?). Ugh. Leave me ALONE!

I determined that there are only two times I really don't feel stressed out or annoyed at the albatross necklace that is law school: 1) When I'm at work, where I feel like I'm actually producing actual product and being clever and there's a point to all of what I'm doing. 2) When I'm defending a motion or doing a cross examination for my trial ad class. (Not to be confused with preparing for trial ad class, which I don't do.) These are the times I feel pleased with myself. Otherwise, I'm just really effing annoyed or burying my head in the sand with Super Mario Wii, in which I've worked my way up to Level 7 of the Star World.

I'm mad at law school, and I wish law school would just get mad at me back and decide that I'm not worth it, and leave me alone. Grr.

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