Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Could this be it?

This may be the last post I write before I know if I got into (any) law school.

I like to think it's because when I hit "Publish Post" I will get in my car and drive home to a table full of mail, all addressed to me and lovingly arranged by T so that it will be the first thing I spot when I open the door (after the dogs, of course). I have arranged with T to make the mailing of my acceptance/rejection letters a total surprise, by vacillating over the question of whether he should call me when he spots the first one. After first deciding he should, then that he shouldn't, and then that, on second thought, yes, he should, I finally came to the decision that he had to surprise me. Call, or don't call, but just keep it a surprise.

I am hoping to drag the giddy suspense out as long as possible.

The real reason this is probably the last post I write until I've heard something is because I am spending far too much time on to be bothered to generate any original thought. My mind is full of the sound of crunching numbers (blingblongblingblong) and images of scatterplots with my bright blue 3.47/165 dot somewhere to the upper right/lower left/smack in the middle of all the bright green "accepted" dots. In short, the waiting has swiftly and unexpectedly driven me mad.

I realized today that I don't think of myself as a 0L. That is "law school student"-speak for summer before 1L (first year). There is all sorts of advice out there for 0Ls, ranging from what type of job to take (your high school waitressing job), what to read (not Law School Confidential) and how to prepare for being a 1L (enjoy your freedom while you have it). It's weird, too, because it all seems geared toward people who 1) are just getting out of college and 2) have been waiting foooorever to go to law school. People who actually need to be reminded to relax! Ha!

The other funny thing is that a lot of people talk about "real work experience" (RWE) and how many schools consider that an advantage. Then they follow up that bit of wisdom with, "That's why I took a year off before going to law school. It was such an awakening!"

I can feel the condescension rising up in the back of my throat. Am I going to spend the next three years trying not to spit up all over my classmates?

But there I go again: classmates. As if I'm going back to school. I haven't even gotten a letter yet.

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