Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Change in tone

If I were to ask you to stop this instant and name how you feel, would you be able to put a name to that emotion? I rarely can. Sometimes I get the sensation that I am coasting through life without spending enough time on self-reflection. Actually, I spend very little time on self-reflection these days.

One of the good things to come out of living alone and removed from your friends and family is that you are left with little choice but to befriend yourself. I spent many evenings on Sedgefield Street scribbling unrefined cartoons that depicted my little insecurities (bad haircuts) and deepest fears (ending up alone), minor occassions for joy (delicious tacos) and profound experiences (the night the "migra" rumors came to El Centro). Some day I would like to pull those doodles together into a zine or something, just as a keepsake.

I wonder if you just grow distant from yourself as you become more involved in relationships, work, life. Or am I purposely distancing myself from whatever thoughts are running through my head?

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