Friday, April 3, 2009

Ann Taylor never felt so good.

I'm all dressed up in my suit and drinking my coffee at home before trekking over to the subway for the ride to school. My oral argument folder is prepared and I think I've got a good handle on the case law for both my arguments and opposing counsel's. I feel confident (thanks Ann Taylor & caffeine) and excited (TGIF -- if all goes poorly, there's still a birthday dinner and a friend's show to go to tonight). I'm so pumped, actually, that my mind is daydreaming about a future career in litigation.

It occurred to me that now may be the first and last time I feel this way. I have no actual idea what it's like to make arguments before a judge. I may hate it or I may realize I'm an utter failure at it. More likely, nothing earth-shattering will happen, I'll manage okay and get on with my life, and probably take Trial Advocacy next year anyway.

What makes today so exciting to me is that for the first time since I quit my job and started law school, I am getting a sense for how the pieces fit together. I am getting a little (albeit "moot") taste of what it will be like to return to the working world, in the field I have chosen. All of this studying and cramming for exams and staying up late to write a paper and deciding whether to go to class... it's actually going to lead somewhere. It's getting me closer to the place I wanted to be when I decided that I didn't want to be a social worker, and when I decided that human resources wasn't for me, and when I realized that I loved working with the immigrant community but felt stuck in terms of what I could do. I'm actually feeling empowered today. It's a wonderful feeling that it's taken me ten minutes of typing and blathering on about to pinpoint. Empowered. It's a feeling I want to share.


CP said...

i know exactly how you feel! when i started working in a law firm I had an "aha" moment- like "this is what it i'm working my butt for- this is what being a lawyer will be like" it felt so good!

gudnuff said...

Reading this, and your comment on LL's post today, makes it seem doable aferall.