On checking off boxes in life

Several things occurred to me this morning as I was decidedly NOT studying for the myriad law school exams I have yet to take this week...

1. I'm not sure what exactly constitutes a law school blog, but I'm pretty sure mine doesn't. I do touch on being in law school, but it's mostly just the backdrop for my life. If there were a bright line test, I would certainly not meet it. I'm not sure I have enough to meet a totality of the circumstances balancing test.

2. If I'm not careful I can spend way too much time reading other people's blogs. I think I spend too much time imagining myself in others' shoes. I like to read about people who have 10 kids, people who are spouses to people in law school, people who are fans of ralph nader and jesus christ at the same time. I could feel like a lurker in others' lives for half the day if I'm not careful.

3. When I stop measuring my own life up to the lives of anonymous others, I realize that I can do a lot more to improve it and, paradoxically, I have it really really good. I'm 28 and recently married. I spent a lot of time dating my husband before we tied the knot, including time spent in college, time living with my parents, time traveling the globe, time in a long distance relationship, time of heartbreak, time of coming together, time dreaming, time compromising about our futures, time working in retail, time learning how to make radio programs, time living in little mexico, time with a kitten, time with a puppy, time in small towns, small cities, the south and the north. I've done a lot. I used to imagine that by this time in my life, I would have kids, a successful career (as a photographer) and a house. I have none of those things. But it's not because I'm behind. No way. It's because it turns out life moves faster than I expected it to. Because I was just living it, doing the things that made sense to me... after high school, after college, after traveling, after co-habitating with T. It never occurred to me to look at the watch. And I'm glad. Because if I was as hung up on checking off boxes in my earlier twenties as I can sometimes be these days, I never would've:
- Faced down depression and post-graduation fear by taking a bus south of the border and not stopping until Panama
- Eaten mole for breakfast in Oaxaca, Mexico
- Danced cumbia with my uncle in Girardot, Colombia until they shut off the power
- Realized some things are more important to me than solo adventures, and T was one of them.
- Stared my childhood in the face by moving home
- Sought out life-changing therapy
- Learned to force myself to chase my goals even in the face of fear
- Realized how much fun March Madness can be
- Become fluent in Spanish & OSHA regulations
- Mentored 6 amazing kids
- Learned who I am when I live by myself in a city with nobody I know
- Adopted my wonderful, bestest dog in the world
- Fallen in love with the South
- Forced myself to move beyond my social fears and push myself beyond my comfort zone
- Figured out that even with all the right pieces, there's no short cut to a happy ending
- Committed myself to fighting for a happy ending
- Discovered the joys of Virginia
- Enjoyed taking LSAT prep tests in the heat of a summer night
- Applied to law school on a whim
- Moved to a big city at the age of 27 just for the experience

And so much more.

Why am I writing all of this? To remind myself, I guess, that I am where I am because of how I got here. To remember all the things I've done. And to break myself out of the box-checking mode that has me longing to be done with school and on to other things. To imagine all the things I'll be able to add to that list from this experience here in law school and in the Big City.