After the fact pattern

Post-finals life has been chugging along quite nicely, but it's not without its adjustments. On the relationship front, it seems that as soon as the time is called on my last exam, I awaken from my study-induced stupor to notice all the shortcomings in our day-to-day life that T has no doubt been trying to call my attention to since around mid-October.

"We don't spend any quality time together," I whine. "Why do you come to bed so late?"

T patiently explains to me that he is not used to me actually wanting him around, especially in the evenings, when I am notoriously at my most cranky. When we leave to meet friends at a bar, and he suggest that he bring my set of keys, I glare at him. "Why? Do you think I'm going to come back early, without you?"

Without blinking he responds, "Yes. I guess so."

Like a petulant kid, I pout, "You'd better get used to me being around all night. I'm not going to leave early so you can hang out without me anymore."

"I can get used to that. I'd like that," he demures. "I just forgot for a second."

I like to pretend it's rough, realizing that the world has been revolving without me for the last two months, but the fact is that I'm in utter delight most of the time. Random squealing may be prompted by any of the following: getting under a blanket on the couch, taking down a box of instant cocoa, pulling the wrapping paper out of the closet, watching T change into pajamas, putting a leash on the dog, etc. As T says, I'm easy to please.

There are less than pleasant things going on right now. I'm fearful, truth be told, because of some troubling test results that my mom received a couple of weeks ago. The full implication of the results won't be known until after the holidays, though, so there's not much I can do. When I first found out, I spent a day shivering and fighting worry-induced nausea, staring off into space. This was while I still had to exams left to take. I prayed about it, and tried to let it go. After about a day, I found myself able to resume enjoying life. I'm still a little scared, but I'm taking it as my cue to practice not being in control, and to just live.

There are also super exciting things. My trial advocacy professor put me in touch with someone at our local public defender office who does work with immigrants in the criminal justice system. As anyone who has ever known a non-citizen living in the States knows, the legal system in this country has a completely separate set of consequences for people without citizenship. I am excited and encouraged to have made a connection with someone working on the front lines of this crossroad, and have even been invited to shadow the person at an upcoming hearing! Very good news, indeed. These days when I see the fruits of my decision to go to law school take shape, I am always so grateful for the choices that brought me here. Of course, it would have been impossible without T's unwavering support, which I realize more and more each day. But now I'm starting to sound like an Oscar acceptance speech.

Speaking of prizes, there is one other exciting development in my life. Last night, T, Best Man, Best Woman, another friend and I played Quizzo and actually WON! After many, many failed attempts, and an overflowing collection of consolation prizes (i.e. crappy books like "Dummies Guide to i-Pods" and a history of the Lilith Fair), we managed to snag a round of free drinks and a bunch of knock-off Yuengling swag. Supposedly, our picture is posted on the mirror behind the bar for the next week. Boo yes!

And that's life, post-finals.